I have been using OK Cupid for a very long time and I have encountered many different types of women on that site, but here are the most common characteristics that you will find and I’m not lying when I say most of the women on that site seem to fit into one of these categories. Let’s start with number one.
1. The Flake
She probably has no idea how frustrated you are with her. She will tell you you’re cute and will agree to go out with you, but when the time comes, she will “flake out”, as in forget there was a date. She will even give you her number, but she never answers. You can text her, but she never responds and when she does it will be a one word answer like “k” and this will be a week after the 5 texts text messages you sent her. Communicating with this type of girl (assuming she is attractive) is like a being buried to the neck in sand in the middle of the scorching hot desert, the vultures are buzzing above your head ready to devour your heart. I would say f*ck her (ha! if only you could!) and move on, but you can be persistent if you want. Who knows, she might even decide to meet up with you for a first date… 3 years later that is…
This is how The Flake will leave you feeling.
2. The Short-Change Gold Digger
This chick is broke as hell, probably works a minimum wage job and has no real aspirations to do any better, but she is obviously not classy or hot enough to date an extremely wealthy man, which is why she is what I call the “Short-Change” gold digger because she will give you what is less than expected or deserved while manipulating you into buying stuff for her and paying for her meals. So unless you are fine with being this chick’s sugar daddy, then stay the f*ck away from her because she will suck you dry and make your wallet bleed with absolutely no return on investment because there is no chance for a stable, long term relationship.
If you continue dating the Short Change Gold Digger, you will end up like I do in Monopoly.
3. The Clingy Chick
She loved your profile and she fell instantly in love with you and now she wants you to be her prince charming, but the only problem is you are not really attracted to her and she is super clingy. She can’t go a day without texting or calling you and there is no way she will even consider letting you go out with your best buddies. She always wants to know every detail of your schedule and will never leave you alone. In fact, if you do not respond to her text message or phone calls, she will break down and cry her heart out and she will think that you’re ignoring her because you don’t love her anymore, but in reality you have other things to do (like WORK for example). This relationship is only good for someone who has no life because the only life you will have will involve her 24/7.
The clingy chick will turn into a whipped dog as in “miserable”. You will want to leave and never come back.
4. The Serial Dater
This girl is like the female version of Barney from How I Met Your Mother, because she will break your heart. Sure, she may have responded positively to your message, and she may even really like your dating profile. The first date may even go extremely well (at least in your mind) but there’s another guy (actually 10 other guys) who messaged her right after you did and she thinks that other dude is hotter than you. So sure, she will go on a date with you, but don’t expect a second date from this chick. If she’s slutty, then you may even get to have sex with her on the first date (just make sure you savor the experience, because that will most likely be your last date with her). She will tell you how much she enjoyed the evening and will even tell you that she wants to see you again (this is a lie), but when the time comes for the second date, she will tell you that she met someone else. This is the type of girl who will leave you frustrated, depressed and demoralized. You may even lose faith in women after meeting her, because she seemed like the best thing that could ever happen to you, yet she’s not looking for you!
The serial dater could turn you a broken man with all of your confidence sapped and all of your trust in women lost.
5. The Ultra Paranoid Chick
This chick seems pretty cool and you like her profile, but she is also testing you. She probably wants a relationship with you, but she doesn’t want to move too fast. Before she even agrees to a date with you, she will probably want to Google your name and look up your court records just to make sure you are not a douche bag, player, liar, con artist, murderer, rapist or whatever fear she may have of online dating. Unless you play your cards right, you may not even get a date with this chick. If you do, then it may end up either good or bad. Hell, she may even read your email and want to go through your phone and review your text messages, when you are not around just because she is ultra paranoid and does not trust you; either she thinks you are a terrorist or you’re cheating on her. I have no idea what the hell goes through this girl’s head, but if you value your privacy, then stay away from this chick!
Make sure to secure your phone and computers! This Ultra Paranoid Chick likes to snoop!
She will also tell all her friends about you and her friends will also conduct Google searches on your name! So what should you do? Give a fake name of course!