ABC and Jimmy Kimmel want to Kill all Chinese People in China

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Okay, so maybe ABC doesn’t want to kill all people in China, but some kid on the Jimmy Kimmel Show sure did on Saturday’s episode of whatever ABC show that Jimmy Kimmel happens to host (come to think of it, since I don’t watch TV, I have no idea who the hell Jimmy Kimmel is or even if he hates Chinese people of not because I don’t watch his show).  Maybe Jimmy Kimmel doesn’t really want to kill all Chinese people, I don’t know, but it seems like at least 1500 Chinese Americans are pretty upset about it (myself NOT included).  Wait… 1500?  That’s it?  I guess it really wasn’t such a big impact, because I sure as hell wasn’t offended.

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On Saturday, hundreds of protesters targeted ABC Studios in Burbank, Houston, and Phoenix to protest the Oct. 16 segment of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” where one of the late night host’s tiniest guests suggested that we should “kill everyone in China.”  (The Asian girl next to him probably wants to be White even though she clearly isn’t).

Being Chinese myself, I’m actually quite flattered that this kid wants to kill me because I can honestly say that there is no way in hell the US army can kill all of us, since we have more than a Billion people world wide.  Forget protesting (I’m not going to waste my time with a picket sign in front of the ABC building; Jimmy Kimmel is a nobody anyway).  Let’s see exactly what would happen if they decided to “kill everyone in China”;  what this little punk doesn’t know is how armed to the teeth the Chinese military is, so in spite of how he suggested it was cool to “kill everyone in China”, the odds are, it ain’t likely to happen, son!

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If you’ve played Command and Conquer then you’ll know that China is a pretty strong nation with a shit of of people and a shit ton of fire power.  The Chinese Red Army will roll in the tanks in that little kid’s back yard and slaughter his parents and his neighborhood before he can say “ur gay noobz!” (or some other equivalent online gaming chat speak).

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 This is what China will do to your back  yard, kid!  The ice cream man, your parents, your next door neighbor, all of two of your friends, and even your dog (oh wait, that was actually counted as his friend!  Dog meat…. Yum!  We will roast your dog because apparently this is what Americans think we do!

Even if China doesn’t nuke your back yard, they still have commandos in Stealth Suits that will turn them invisible.  This Chinese commando will assassinate you and your entire family with his Chinese Officer’s sword as he proceeds to anally rape you with it and give you a bloody period coming out of your ass!

chinese stealth suit ABC and Jimmy Kimmel want to Kill all Chinese People in China

Chinese Commandos and Stealth Suits will pwn your asses!

The Chinese have an army of Remnant Soldiers who are basically immortal undead beings (just don’t call them Zombies because it’s worse than calling them a “Chink” because they’re not Zombies, they’re REMNANTS!).

chinese remnant ABC and Jimmy Kimmel want to Kill all Chinese People in China

  Even thought they appear as rotted corpses, the Chinese Remnant soldiers can still kill all mother f*ckering punks from all other armies!  Long live the Remnant Red Guard!

So think about it kid… do you still want to go kill all people in China?  Even if you kill them, they will still come back as Chiang Shi (of Jiang Shi depending on the translation) and drain your life force and drag your soul straight to the deepest, darkest hell in the after life, where all your rose colored (Jap Crap) Pokemon dreams will turn to hellish nightmares…

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Even in death (or undeath) the Chinese people will keep on going!

So anyway, I have no idea who Jimmy Kimmel is or what his show is about, but obviously with only 1500 protesters, his show probably sucks anyway considering I had to find out about this from Yahoo news (sad because they tend to give people more publicity than they actually deserve).   I mean, Chinese people don’t want to kill Americans (China has too much invested in the US to allow it to crumble).   By the way, did I also mention that the Chinese also have an undead Bruce Lee that can still kick ass?  Because we do!

zombie bruce lee ABC and Jimmy Kimmel want to Kill all Chinese People in China

Zombie Bruce Lee can still kick Chuck Norris’ flabby ass!  

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About Daclaud Lee
Daclaud Lee is a resident of Columbus Ohio.

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