Most people believe that the first rule of getting what you want is to simply ask for it, but that’s not true at all, the very first rule of getting what you want to actually overcome rejection. If you want it, then go for it, because you will never know until you try. If you can overcome rejection, then you’ll at least get an answer who knows, you may just get what you want.
Back when I was a Sophomore in High School I had a crush on a girl named Marianna who was a Junior at the time. All throughout my entire High School career I had believed this girl was out of my league. She was the most gorgeous girl in my school (at least in my opinion) and she was also single for the longest time (I don’t even think she had a date to the prom in spite of how beautiful she was), but I never asked her out because I was too afraid that she wouldn’t like me. I had a bad reputation in High School and I wasn’t the most popular kid in school nor did I have very many friends, so I naturally figured that Marianna would say no if I did ask her out simply because of this fact. I was too embarrassed about what other people were going to say to her about me so I never even tried. Now, I had two years to build up the courage to ask this girl out, but I didn’t simply because I never had the balls to do it, so now I have to go through life without ever knowing whether or not she would have dated me (I did find out through a mutual friend that she thought I was attractive, but that wasn’t enough for me). I failed because I had already had the belief she would say no or that she would dump me for another guy even if she did say yes; I failed because I had rejected myself before she could reject me.
Business: Lets say you are in sales and you think: “oh that customer will never want to buy my product”, then you will probably never do well in sales simply because you have that negative attitude about the product you are selling. If you can’t approach that customer and ask them what they think about your product or service, then you are automatically going to fail.
Job Search: The same goes with finding a job or getting a promotion. Even if the job description is seemingly beyond your abilities, you will never know whether or not you are qualified until you actually apply, so don’t tell yourself you will never get the job, let the hiring manager tell you that you are not qualified, but never tell yourself that you are not qualified.
School: If you want to go to a certain university, but don’t believe you are smart enough to get in, don’t tell yourself you can’t do it, just apply and let the admissions department give you an answer.
Dating: If you want to ask the girl of your dreams out on a date, then do it, because she is only out of your league if you believe she is; don’t be the High School me.
Life: But what if what you want is seemingly impossible? For example, I want to be a millionaire. I know that the only way I can do this is to either work my way to the top or to purchase a winning Powerball or Mega Millions ticket. It may be clear that I will never become a millionaire working the job I’m currently working, but that’s not going to stop me from developing my work skills and creativity by learning new things with the hope that one day, I’ll come up with a flawless idea that will make me the millions I want. Most people also don’t play the lottery either simply because they already have the preconceived notion that the odds of getting struck by lighting is much better; these people will ever win because they will never try. Now I’m not encouraging people to become hardcore gambling addicts, but it doesn’t hurt to purchase a lottery ticket maybe once a week or once a month, because you never know. Maybe, just maybe you’ll guess the winning numbers one day.
Even if you don’t get what you want right away, there’s always next time. The point is, to not reject yourself and to just go for it. No matter how much it hurts to be rejected, just keep trying and one day you may get what you want, but before you get it, you simply can’t reject yourself.