How to Pick up a Man or Woman at a Night Club

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Picking up a member of the opposite sex at a night club is not that difficult.  In fact, for women it is very easy because all they have to do is be there.  In any case, here are some basic tips for both men and women.  Note that most of this stuff works, but was written in a silly manner.

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pick up girls at a nightclub or bar

For Men

1. Be somewhat attractive; if you’re “hot” then you should have no problems. When it comes down to it, it looks do matter, because a club is all about who is the most presentable (who is the better “baller”). Obviously you are at a club, so women do not really care how much of a conversationalist you are because chances are you both will not be able to hear a god damned thing with all the base and shouting in the background!

2. Looks aside, if you’re just “average”, make sure you have style and swag or whatever the hell they call it these days, just do it with class (unless of course you are in a dive/grunge/ghetto club, then you can be an ass). Just remember that where ever you chose to go, make sure you are dressed the part, but keep your style unique and do “peacock”; as in out dress all the other douche bags, because you’ve got a lot of competition!

3. Stay hydrated. Water will help you keep your energy up and it will help you expel alcohol quicker. You can get a little tipsy, but don’t drink to the point where you’re puking because no girl wants anything to do with the douche bag who is puking his guts out in the back alley. Also keep in mind that no everyone will be drunk, so being too inebriated could work to your disadvantage; you could spin this as an “advantage” because of the beer goggle effect and get laid, but be advised that you may regret it in the morning (unless of course you have no standards).

4. Confidence – this is all it takes. The worst she’ll say is “no”. Eventually one of these nos will turn into a yes. It’s just like sales; keep knocking on doors and eventually you’ll get one. Just be smooth about it. Just accept it as an answer, because sometimes no really does mean “no” and you don’t want to be charged with rape, savvy?

5. Once you have the number… Some girls don’t do one night stands. Others just may not find you attractive enough to do a one night stand with so you’ll have to settle for a phone number, but once you get it, its NOT over yet… You may have sparked her interest Get the number at the club, but now you will have to follow up with her and close the deal. If you are able to close the deal after 2:30am, then more power to you! If not, then make sure you follow up with her right away and schedule a date asap (this is not being desperate, this is just so she doesn’t forget about you, like any sales call, you want to close the deal ASAP). If not, then back to the drawing board!


For Women
1. The reality of it is, all you need to do is be there. All of these desperate Lothario wannabes will be vying for your affection and attention, although it helps improve your chances greatly if you’re wearing a skimpy outfit (and somewhat attractive, I’ll get to that below).

2. Dance on the dance floor (alone) and some random (probably drunken) douche bag looking guy with spiky hair and popped collar will probably get up behind you and start doing his thing. If you find him attractive, then just allow him to continue, if not then push him away or sick the bouncer on him.

3. Be drunk and flirtatious (with everyone) – all the dudes will generally fight for your attention; the “alpha” will always win, but wouldn’t it be funny to see these guys brawl over you?

4. Be fairly attractive; if you’re too “hot” then you might intimidate these guys and if you’re too ugly, then you probably have no business trying to pick up a guy at the nightclub (unless you happen to have big boobs – men always pay attention to the boobs first; hence the saying “cover the face and f*ck the base”). Average looking girls probably have the easiest time, but if you don’t have assets, then you’re probably out of luck and should just try a dating site instead. Then again, most dudes will probably have their beer goggles on, so you could use that to your advantage (just make sure his friend is not sober enough to notice).

5. Choose wisely young virgin/slut…. You have choices, more choices than any douche bag who is trying to get on you, so choose wisely!

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these are the typical guys you will find at a nightclub.  If douchebags like these are your thing, then as a women you will have no problems picking up a guy


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About Daclaud Lee
Daclaud Lee is a resident of Columbus Ohio.

7 Comments on How to Pick up a Man or Woman at a Night Club

  1. Hi there! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to look it over. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Great blog and great design and style.

  2. ladies_man69 // July 11, 2013 at 9:12 pm // Reply

    Definitely agree with your advice man! Funny ass shit for picking up women at da club!

  3. Truly degrading! This article makes me sick to my stomach! You are just a pig!

  4. The voice of raotntaliiy! Good to hear from you.

    • Our course! Humor and rationality… kind of psychotic if you as me! Basic dating advice for anyone who needs it.

  5. LOL very funny article! I suppose the rules to picking up girls are still the same! good advice for something that was not really meant to be taken seriously!

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